Archive for December 2010
Welcome 2011
I still can not believe that today is the last day of 2010. It feels that the beginning of 2010 has just already begun, but this is the fact, we just has one remaining full 24 hours of 2010. I think I have not done much improvement in 2010. During last eleven months, I did not count any single kilometer of running exercise, I did not read a lot of qualified literature books, I wrote only less than a dozen of articles, I produced only four academic papers with very ordinary quality, and I did too much pleasures. Last night I made hindsight about those my 2010 track records, and these vexed my mind. Year 2010 underlined “inconsistency” as a keyword in my live. It was outrage that I did not even able to manage myself well. And if you give me a question, why have all those silly happened?, I think the answer is ineffable. You can make a detail schedule, you can swear a vow to manage your activities wisely, and you can plan your time efficiently. But, those will only be trashes if you don’t have a very stringent demeanor to say NO to anything that is not be part of list in your plan.
Yeah, regret and grieve are not be wise options right now. Year 2011 is on imminent arrival and now paramount importance is find a way to make 2011 as a great year. My goal in 2011 will be simple. I am going to alter “inconsistency” to “sturdy consistent”. After I reach that goal, I think it will be easy to accomplish my other goals in 2011. By the way, I will be 25 next year, and that means a lot to me. Many references define twenty five years old as a starting point of every thing. Twenty five years old is two or three years after you graduate from college, and those two or three years are enough amount of time to save maturity in your life-repertoire. Twenty five years old is also five years remaining to reach 30, that many believe as a next staging point to be a completely full men/women. So, twenty five years old is a leap to reach a dawn of your beginning success or awfully, it is a beginning of endless surge of darkness periods. Of course sane human will choose the first option, so will I. That is why I am going to take seriously of this upcoming year.
The imminent goal that going to be reached in 2011 is to finish my master study. I am going to make all possible sacrifice to reach this goal. I have been saturated enough to be in this campus, and finishing my study will be a good medicine to overcome that saturating moment. As soon as I finish my master theses, I am going to find PhD college. Of course I do not want just to get ordinary PhD college. But, instead of ordinary, I am going to strive for the decent one. Naturally, the decent is usually fewer than the ordinary. So, it will be a rocky road to find it. But, that is no problem. I have realized that the possible time to get my PhD college is in 2012, and if I get it by next year, that will be a great bonus. I will probably start my career as fulltime lecturer in ITB, or maybe I will see an opportunity as researcher or whatever else, I still do not know. But, one remarkable is I have to upgrade my career from research assistant to something higher. On the other side of life, I am going to allocate more of my time in 2011 to write my novel, it is entitled “Penantian” (EN: Waiting). I started write it two years ago but I did not have any gut to continue writing. Okay, new year will be come in a few more hours. And 2011, I promise you will not make any regret to include me in your bag!
Tujuh Cerita
Sudah berbulan-bulan saya merenung dan tadi malam dapat setitik ilham. Saya ingin menulis tujuh cerita yang salah satu cerita diantaranya sudah selesai dikarang. Semoga ketujuhnya selesai sebelum pergantian tahun dan berikut judul yang sudah terpikir di dalam benak:
1. Prolog
2. Pertemuan
3. Bulan madu
4. Perpisahan
5. Kegoncangan
6. Rendezvous!
7. Penantian
Orang bilang, “terkadang pena dapat menuliskan kalimat yang lebih tajam dari sebilah pedang”. Saya coba revisi anggapan lama itu menjadi “pena berguna untuk menuliskan kalimat pada saat kamu tidak sanggup untuk berkata-kata”.
Rendezvous!
Malam ini hujan turun rintik-rintik dan petir membelah langit
Segera aku teringat kepada kata sandimu waktu itu
Rendezvous!
Aku segera datang ke tempat yang kamu janjikan dan kupatuhi pesanmu waktu itu
“Datanglah seorang diri dan siapkan korek api, dingin kamar itu bisa menembusi tulang”
Dengan belati aku tikam semua jiwa yang lewat di depanku
Kuingin datang seorang diri, demi memenuhi persyaratanmu
Empat belas tempat sudah aku lewati
Dan enam ratus sembilan belas jiwa kutikam sampai mati
Manusia, iblis, setan, malaikat semua harus dibinasakan
Dan jiwa yang sudah melayang itu mengutukiku di sepanjang perjalanan
Tapi aku tidak peduli, Adik
Karena kuingin itu terjadi
Rendezvous!
Tepat di tikaman ke enam ratus dua puluh aku tahu kalau kamu datang
Seperti dulu, wangimu masih menggetarkan langit dan bumi jantung hatiku
Tubuhmu yang tembus pandang melolosi tulang belulangku
Tiba-tiba kamu berkata “kamu menyalahi janji, kenapa turut kau bawa pisau?”
Tamparan kalimatmu yang kedua “karena itu aku jadi tidak bisa menemuimu”
Diakhiri dengan tikaman “padahal aku juga inginkan itu, Rendezvous!”
Tubuhmu tidak lagi tembus pandang
Sinar bercahaya mengisi rongga-rongga ragamu
Aku menggigil dan kita berdua jadi saling pangling
Pisau tergenggam erat di tangan dan siap kusambitkan ke cahaya itu
Tapi aku takut itu akan mengenaimu juga, Adik
Sehingga untuk selamanya kita tidak bisa lagi menjanjikan ini
Rendezvous!
Ah, adik
Ternyata kamar ini cuma dua kali tiga meter
Terlalu sempit untuk meregang nyawa
Kamu benar, kamar ini sekarang menjadi sangat dingin
Aku keluarkan semua isi korek dan api yang mengangkasa terbuat darinya
Sedikit kehangatan kudapat, tapi lebih banyak tikaman di tubuhku yang berbekas
Setelah itu pisau laknat itu aku lempar ke kobaran api, tapi celaka dia masih tidak leleh
Aku putus asa, Adik
Aku masuk ke ke kobaran api dan kupandangi di langit samar-samar masih ada kata itu
Rendezvous!
Bandung, 3 Desember 2010 (cerita Agustus-September 2009)
